Seriously. What ever possesses someone to bring their new-born baby into work? Why would you come in to disrupt the working time of many a hard-working former-colleague (or the concentration of someone writing on Facebook)? It’s not exactly as if any of them requested you to visit or have been to visit your baby. They probably even forgot to send you a congratulations card.
Or do you just do it to torment your ex-colleagues? Hello, look at me, I’ve been out relaxing, enjoying the sunshine, and I get paid for it.
Or maybe you just do it to say to the men that you never used to like at work who constantly perved at your breasts until you put on a ton of weight “ha ha you might have your social life devastated by one of these one day”.
Though I have to admit that having seen my friend’s Shaun and Kellie’s baby Amelie a few times now, I am no longer petrified of such tiny dragon’s and may well be coming round to thinking they are cute, even if my attempts at in depth political conversations quickly come to ruin in place of “Hello, little baby, ga ga, goo goo”.
Perhaps I should have a little more sympathy though as any ex-colleagues of mine who decided it was a brilliant idea to have a baby will have subsequently been reduced to such basic communication levels and are probably craving the deeply intellectual and inspiring levels of conversation that I regularly provide to those around me, and that is why they come back into the office.
I will think about amending my views. But a better idea would be to invite me round for dinner, I am always appreciative of not having to cook. Don’t expect me to hold the baby though unless you want 15 minutes of screaming and crying. And the baby wouldn’t like it either.