World Of Winfield

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James Went To Exeter

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Two of my dearest advisors had concocted a birthday surprise for me at the end of February – a mystery tour of a mystery place. All that I knew was that I needed my passport. Exciting! We drove past enticing places such as Basingstoke, Bracknell and Salisbury, then past Stonehenge until it became clear that I was either being taken to Exeter or Newquay. What is in Exeter I wonder? What government enterprise might be of interest to me that is located there? After a spot of lunch and a chance to listen to 6 women loudly cackling next to … Continued

Detox 2019: 90 Days & 90 K

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detox text on round blue plate

If you saw me over the last few months of 2018, or just read the banal self-loathing crap that I occasionally spout, you’ll realise that I stepped up a gear from fat to obese last year.  At the end of 2018 I was 16kg heavier than at the end of my 2018 detox. Therefore this year’s detox comes in two parts. The first part is simply 90 days without alcohol. Though since I started, I have decided to extend this until Easter. With an emphasis on repairing my diet during this time, which has become solely focused on my brain’s … Continued

Complaint: Sainsbury’s Avocados. Again.

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Two ripe avocado halves with the pit removed, placed on a light gray surface.

[From 2018] Hi Sainsburys How is my favourite supermarket doing?  I hear that you had pretty good Christmas results.Alas, your avocados have been a little disappointing on occasion recently. Twice I have bought your dual pack of ripe avocados in recent weeks (I’m stretching the definition of recent here) and ended up being disappointed.  So disappointed that I have taken to buying avocados from Tesco. As you may understand, now that I have moved to London, I need to prove my credentials by eating as many avocados as possible – especially on toast.  And not just any toast, but the … Continued

Happy Birthday To Me: Episode 39

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Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. Last year I had a bit of a miserable birthday – it was a Monday, I felt rubbish, I ate loads of junk food, I didn’t have the best day at work and then I had a really disappointing M&S pie for dinner. So I resolved to take my birthday off this year. I did. It seems that I spent half the day responding to birthday messages – some pretty damn brilliant ones on Facebook in particular, but I did manage to do a few other things. I think. Bacon and egg … Continued

2018 Review

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Previously if I had spent NYE by myself, I’d be lonely and some shade between melancholic and miserable – this year I’m just tired after a long day at work, and pretty upbeat. I find myself mostly satisfied with 2018 – it has been an exceptionally fun and enjoyable year, one where I have made progress in some key areas of my life – but also overlooked and lost control of others. 2018 started on the sober side with a 3 month detox that I completed successfully.  It was certainly tricky at times and life was less fun – there … Continued

Complaint: Metropolitan Line Rant

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low angle photo of underground signage

As I type this now, I must admit that the service has been much better this month on the Metropolitan line – or at least I’ve got lucky in terms of avoiding the signal failures. However, one particular journey stands out from 2018 which was such a clusterfuck that I needed answers.  Would I get them? ****** I guess I should be amused that you are trying to charge me £8.00 for the clusterfuck of a journey on Thursday 4th January, that took nearly 3 times as long as it should have.  Surprised you are not charging me for a … Continued

And That Was Christmas 2018

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Christmas is over.  Normality is returning.  Sobriety is around the corner. As usual, I went to Hull to see my parents and some of the extended family, for 5 nights.  About 1 night too many for me, about 360 nights too short for my mum. It being time with the family, meant that the television was on much of the time – there is only so much I have to say before I start boring myself let alone everyone else (verbally, anyway).  I guess there is something kind of comforting about sitting around together on the off-chance that we can … Continued

Complaint: Sports Mixtures

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close up shot of assorted candies on a white surface

Dear Cadbury’s There is an argument at the age of 38 and with several fillings and a few teeth missing, that I should have learnt my lesson and stopped eating sweets. But stuff that.  Life is short and I love sugar. And Sports Mixtures are one of my favourite sweets – that and Tangfastics, I find hard to go a day without one.  Or two.  Or three.  And I wonder why I’m fat. Anyway, before I bore you rigid about my new weight-loss plan that will never work, I would like to make a complaint about Sports Mixtures. Normally they … Continued

Something Must Change

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I have had enough.  And I am not talking about Brexit. The Metropolitan line has become so bad that I’m getting home close to 8pm.  Today, I was on a tube stuck outside Harrow-On-The-Hill, awaiting a platform as both northbound platforms were occupied by other trains.  Neither of which apparently had a driver.  Fucking brilliant. A good 15-20 minutes just stuck there, going nowhere, until the train finally moved, so I could then sit on the platform for a while and wait for my end destination train to arrive – which was stuck outside awaiting a platform.  Plus a bit … Continued

Complaint: Mouldy Tomatoes

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photo of person holding cherry tomato

Hey Sainsbury’s, how’s life?   We haven’t spoken for a while, which for most people other than my mum, is probably a good thing.  Definitely for you, as it means I have something to moan about and then you have to spend time refunding me the half a cucumber or whatever it is that I am moaning about.  Though the Metropolitan line is taking the brunt of my moaning capacity at the moment.   My lack of contact means that I’m either too busy or I’m happy, and until this delivery I was both.   Only one issue, the tomatoes … Continued