Detox 2017

Watermelon juice in a nestled jungle cafe.

It’s that time of year again.  Detox time. In fact, this is now day 8 of my detox – I’ve been so busy being unemployed that I literally am not getting time to do any blogging. I already feel much better.  I was drinking too much, and too often.  I have quite a dislike of getting up at 7am and going to work even if I have had just two beers the night before, not to mention the increased chances of having not slept properly – which means that I rarely drink the night before work. Not having had that … Continued

Happy Birthday To Me

So I had a birthday yesterday.  And I have a hangover today. It wasn’t the most glorious start.  Despite not having a job, I don’t know where the time goes.  I’ve been way too busy to clean the house recently and it was a fair mess. Therefore I decided to start my birthday with a cleaning session, bathroom and kitchen mainly – good timing too as my landlady popped round halfway through. Then my computer crashed again.  Nothing too unusual as it crashes most days, however it would not turn itself back on.  I quickly became consumed by rage as … Continued

The Psychology Of Unemployment

Labour Party Centenary 1900-2000. Historical party posters

I hadn’t forgotten the psychology of unemployment but maybe I had underestimated it – until now I had been generally as positive as normal.  I’m not one of those impossibly-happy types but generally I am positive about myself, the world – bar the odd moan or ten, especially about Brexit. It’s easy to sit here and criticise the unemployed, and there sure is a fair-sized collective of scumbags who simply don’t want to work.  I’m sure I could get A job tomorrow if I was not bothered about what I wanted to do. Maybe I am simply being a bit … Continued

2016: Tough, Tumultuous, Semi-Successful and Quite A Lot Of Fun

Brexit. Let’s get it out of the way.  Don’t worry, I won’t spend much time talking politics, this blog is all about the self-defecating narcissism, after all. I summed it up perfectly on the morning when I woke up.  A victory for lies.  A victory for xenophobia.  A victory for racism.  Or something like that. This year has seen the general feel of the country, and the wider western world, turn against the values of freedom, liberty, tolerance and respect that I hold so dear.  It’s almost acceptable to be racist once more.  It feels in a general context that … Continued

Unemployment Begins

Job Centre - Vicarage Road

So I have just returned from job centre minus for the second time this week. It was inspirational, invigorating, exciting, relevant and demeaning. So inspirational that I have poured myself a beer.  Though I was going to do that anyway – I’ve had a tough, busy week.  More on that in a minute.  Plus it is listed in the conditions for jobseekers that I spend some of it on beer. Last time I was made unemployed, it took me nearly two months to get around to applying for benefits as I was having too much fun.  This time I thought … Continued

Complaint: Cadburys & The Smaller Chocolate Bar Sizes

close up photo of chocolates

Dear Cadbury’s OK I’m overweight.  Not horrendously so but I am a good 10kg above the weight that one should be. I don’t eat a huge amount of chocolate.  My main issue is not doing any exercise – I refuse to go to the gym as I don’t want people to think I am one of those gym types, and I never get laid as I only get fat matches on Tinder – and when I say fat, I mean phat fat.  I am sure that they are lovely girls but I have enough difficulties getting aroused at my age … Continued

Ocado Complaint & My 425 Error

This is a piece of paper hanging from a clothesline with a clothespin. It represents the 404 error encountered by those who cannot find something on a website. Format 2/3, black and white.

Hi Ocado I have had a frustrating day today. Have you any idea how to fix a 425 error on an ftp server? No, neither have I. Recently I undertook a project called Supermarket Slut. I became fed up of Sainsburys not being able to deliver chicken that lasted long enough through the week. Chicken breasts are the one item that I require to last through the week – as they are for my salad for Monday to Friday and tend to go off. Other things being short-dated I can just about work around – as long as it isn’t … Continued

Sainsburys Complaint & My Manly Chest

Pirate's treasure chest, vintage illustration

Dear Sainsburys I am not sure whether you are aware but I am entering my manly torso-chest into a Sexy Torso competition shortly. One of the many areas of advice that I have encountered is for colouring my torso to ensure I stand out to the judges. To do so, I need to rub half an avocado onto my chest, particularly the nipple area, and let the oils soak in overnight. However this week, my Sainsburys avocados were totally unacceptable.  I bought a packet of the ripen at home avocados, but they just went to a weird light green/light brown. … Continued

Greetings From The Lonely Girl, Tatiana

Sad girl swing

I’m looking for a worthy partner for marriage and family formation.I sent a profile to the marriage agency in my city and the answer came to me with your email. I do not know anything about you except your email address. I’ve never acquainted with the men on the Internet.I would like us to make our acquaintance closer. I do not know what you like in woman, please tell me. I am educated, kind, and honest woman without bad habits.I want serious, intelligent and educated man beside me. I would like to exchange phone numbers with you to know each … Continued

It Is Not The End Of The World, But…

U.S. President Donald Trump at the 101st

It is a major hammer-blow to the ideas of freedom, liberty, tolerance and globalised trade. All the underpinnings of a globalised economy, all the underpinnings of increased prosperity, peace and understanding, are under attack and have been since 2008.  They are under attack from both the far-left and the far-right of the political spectrum.  Trump is a strange mixture of both. The financial crisis gave birth to the myth that globalisation, capitalism and liberalism were bad for the ordinary person.  Sure growth had a significant knock-back and many jobs were lost but this should not detract from the fact that … Continued