World Of Winfield

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James Went To Brussels

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There tend to be disturbances prior to my visits to foreign lands – riots in Paris many years ago, a bomb threat evacuated Ibiza airport the morning of one trip, the army were sent to protect London airports just before another trip abroad…this, my first trip to look at foreigners this year, was no different: I can only assume my presence has a calming, reassuring effect when I arrive. I hadn’t been on holiday yet in 2014, however I thought I should take one final opportunity to use the Euro before it collapses.  The arrival of an e-mail offering return … Continued

Don’t Chop His Ed Off!

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Back me: Miliband’s plea to plotters”. “Miliband fights for his political life”. “Miliband bid to disarm his party critics”. “Miliband fights off Labour coup”. “Bonfire Night Plot To Oust Ed”. “Secret plan for end of Miliband”. These are the delightful headlines this morning. Delightful to a point.  For whilst it is a source of hilarity to find Ed Miliband has become more unpopular than the maligned Nicholas Clegg, we do actually need him as leader of the Labour Party. For Odd Miliband is one of our greatest electoral assets.  Many people in the country are aware that him and Balls … Continued

Freedom Of Movement

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european commission flags on poles

I would like to start by thanking the European Union for making this pro-EU argument so much easier with their £1.7billion bill as our punishment for economic recovery.  Really helpful. Merci.  Danke.  Gracias. Thankfully in Dave we have a LEADER – someone who is not afraid to tell the EU where to stick it when it matters – unlike the Labour party who would probably offer to give them our gold reserves too.  Oh wait a minute…they sold the gold at record-low prices.  The recalculation is so ridiculous that Germany get a rebate and Greece gets a bill.  Yep. I … Continued

UEFA Stole My Hangover

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Coldplay - A Head Full of Dreams Tour - Wembley Stadium - The crowd heads home

My letter to Uefa. Dear Uefa I went to my first ever competitive England match last night at the magnificent Wembley stadium. However I was left distraught upon entry – not to mention thirsty – at the ban on alcohol sales. Why is this? Are you trying to rid all-seater stadiums of their remaining atmospheric elements?Is it part of the football gentrification program?Perhaps you now part of the Islamic Caliphate? There are of course ways around this for future games: 1. Get exceptionally tanked up before the game.  I would rather just have a few beers but this may have … Continued

The Adventures Of James – Trees Everywhere

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Trees – trees everywhere! Do you remember that Seth Troxler video about the bats? Well this was similar.  Except I could see lots of trees.  And I wasn’t on acid.  Or wearing my girlfriend’s pants I have decided to get out and adventure more and explore more places.  As I cannot afford European travel, I shall make do with the land around me. And what a green and pleasant land it is.  Thank you dearest rain. So yesterday morning whilst having a long procrastination session during my studying, I eventually decided that I would wonder into yonder for an adventure … Continued

Margaret Miliband

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beige rabbit resting on green grasses during daytime

You have to give it to Miliband, he does put a rabbit out of his hat at every big conference speech. Credit where credit is due, he is pretty good at this. Last year he led the political weather by promising a crazily dumb policy on freezing energy prices, with the potential to lead to early price hikes for consumers and supply issues – as if the total mismanagement of energy supply under the 13 years of Labour government hadn’t done enough to damage the energy market. Hilariously ironic that he raised this as an issue given that Ed Miliband … Continued

Should We Kick Scotland Out?

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person kicking in front of camera

If you are anything like me, you will have been bored sick of the independence debate around a year ago. So I am not going to go over the same old arguments.  This is a fledgling blog.  I don’t yet have a readership to bore.  So I am going to flip the tables and ask – should we kick out Scotland? The first thing that stands out and it is a massive point, is that if we kicked them out, there would be around 40 less Labour MPs in Westminster.  That means no more Gordon Browns, no more Alastair Darlings, … Continued

James Went to Sonning. And Got In.

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The highlight of my weekend just gone is difficult to choose – DJing to 3 people, a gift of a tea, publishing my autumn weather forecast, a visit from my Parisian delight, an evening at the Oakford and some amazing semi-drunken southern fried chicken – Chicken Cottageis the chicken you need by the way.  Not to mention it was a 3-day weekend, I had a pie and booked Eurostar tickets to Brussels to I can go admire the European Union buildings. But for novelty and the fact that it suits my new boring lifestyle, Sunday in Sonning was just the … Continued

Sorry But I Think I Have Changed.

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codes on tilt shift lens

I think I have changed. Don’t worry I have not had a sex change, or done something disgustingly immoral like get a gym membership, or hell something extreme like giving up gravy.  Though tonight will be my first pint of gravy for a couple of weeks.  And last time I didn’t like it, though I was ill at the time.  I called my boss to tell him I was too ill to go to work – he asked about my symptoms and I said “I didn’t like the taste of gravy” and that was enough I was planning to go … Continued

Dear Sainsburys – I Need Bratwurst

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sausages on grill

Dear Sainsburys I require some Bratwurst. However you do not stock any Bratwurst. My only other options are to shop at the horrid Tesco store, or to book a Ryanair flight to Germany. Are you able to assist in me being able to avoid the above options? Kind regardsJames Winfield ******************** Dear Mr Winfield Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you are not able to order Bratwurst online. I can understand your disappointment, especially as it is something that you particularly like. I tried to call you on the 13 August at 10.00am and 11.45am to offer … Continued