Counting Calories

A while back I was taking the piss out of my housemate for
scanning every single thing he ate to count calories.  Though I probably had a point as Kate Moss
needs to lose more weight than he does.
However I have finally succumbed to yet another layer of
life administration after hearing further commendations to said calorie
counting app – as beautiful as I may be, arguably I could do to lose a fair few kilograms
(or lots of 2.2046226218 pounds for those of you still spending shillings).
2014 is the year that I will lose weight.  I have no doubt about that.
So I started counting calories last month on the days I
could actually remember my consumption given that it was party season, and made
it to 4,800 calories one day which I thought was exceptionally
impressive.  Other people I spoke to were
only managing 1,500 to 2,500 a day – I was doing twice that!

Truly kicking ass.  My competitive nature
coming out.
But those who know me well will know that not only am I
competitive, I very much like to do things against the grain so now I am trying
to eat as few calories as possible.  Instead of
eating more than my target, I am eating less.
The other day I would have had just 1,300 were it not for two
mince pies.  Who knew that mince pies
were that calorific?
The robot reckons I can eat 1,800 calories plus exercise per
day – so with my 80 minutes walking that is an allowance of 2,200
My lowest is 1,817 (which would have been 1,317 were it not
for those two mince pies).  So far so
good, I have lost over 2kg in a week, probably too much actually as I am coming
below my weight-losing calorie amount each day…I doubt it will be that easy next week as that was mostly excess Christmas baggage.
I have been cooking this rather healthy breakfast – a poached
egg with smoked salmon on top of spinach, cooked with pepper and a touch of
nutmeg.  A seriously tasty breakfast and around
240 calories.
Gosh I am one of those sad fuckers now, aren’t I?  But I will be the one laughing when I have my
beach body perfect for next holiday in the tropical paradise of Bridlington.
Anyone know how many calories in a Sweeney Todd’s pie?!
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