World Of Winfield

Category: Uncategorized

Complaint: Goodbye Sainsbury’s

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word goodbye on white surface

Back in December, I decided that I had had enough.  Time to move on. ****** Dear Sainsbury’s I think our relationship is over.  At the very least, it is time to take a break. I have told you on multiple occasions how it upsets me when you give me chicken which will not last for my weeks’ worth of salads.  I have to bring this up at least on a monthly basis and at the moment it seems to be almost every week. This week the chicken is going to expire tomorrow.  OK, Friday is Christmas Day so I won’t … Continued

Why I Am Voting To Remain – Part 2 – Sovereignty

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red telephone booth

For obvious reasons I didn’t post the second part on Friday as planned.  You can read part 1 on economics here if you missed it. As I mentioned last time, I may or may not respond to any comments – any blatant lies I will simply delete. So.  Sovereignty. I see polls of Conservative Brexit members in particular who keep stating that sovereignty is by far their number 1 reason for voting to leave.  But what does it mean? Travel back thousands upon thousands of years, to cavemen existence (no I’m not saying we will all become cavemen if we … Continued

Why I Am Voting To Remain. Part 1 – Economics

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european parliament with red carpet

Over the course of the next week, I am going to explain why I came to my decision to vote to remain in the European Union, in possibly 5 blog posts, separated into distinct chapters. Like many, my mind was made up long before the campaign started – around a year ago for me.  There is plenty that I don’t like about the European Union in terms of how it organises itself so myself voting to leave was possible.  There was a decision for me to make. The most important part of any voting decision for myself is the economy, … Continued

Hope Amongst Despondency

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I’m blogging after a couple of beers.  Not always the best idea and I don’t really know what the blog is about or how to structure it.  Well, I know a couple of things that I want to say. I try not to drink on a school night as it tends to disturb my sleep pattern.  There is definitely a correlation between having a couple of beers and taking 3-6 hours to go to sleep.  Not to mention the sausage and bacon sandwich along with the red bull in the morning, not quite conducive to my attempted healthy living. The … Continued

Maggie’s Corner

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I can sometimes see the look that Maggie gives me.  Not sexual but of disdain.  Almost as if I were a socialist. I worried that we were going to have a serious falling out a while back and then realised that clearly it was her surroundings that was making her unhappy – not me. So I undertook a project after only 8 months of living in Bracknell to unpack the remaining boxes – of which there were many.  Mostly consisting solely of CDs. I love my music, you may have guessed, so who better than Maggie, to protect them than … Continued

Complaint: Heel Gone

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rusty broken car without wheels

From last October ************** Dear Office I bought these shoes just two months ago, and today I was walking to work and the right heel flipped up and disappeared into a black hole. I then had to walk the remainder of the dangerous journey through the Bracknell industrial estate where I work, with just one heel. Not for the first time in my life, I had a wonky walk. It was at this point that I was glad I was a man and not a woman. Don’t get me wrong, I love women – Margaret Thatcher, Las Ketchup girls (any … Continued

Complaint: Lost Wickets & Short-Dated Chicken

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action packed cricket match on sunny day

From last year… ***** Hi Sainsbury’s I note that you haven’t responded to my first complaint, dated 31/10/2015 about the recent quality of your fruit and vegetables.  This is concerning. I did however send it to customer.service@sainsburys.co.uk so I am sending my second complaint here. I have told you time and again that when I make my food order, I need the chicken I order to last all week, as I have salad for lunch. Imagine my disappointment this morning, when I see that England have already lost 4 wickets, and my chicken has gone off.  This means I now … Continued

Complaint: Waitrose Minibus

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photo of red vehicle

Waitrose gave one of the most disappointing complaint responses ever last year…granted I wasn’t at my most imaginative.  I was just pissed off. Although my suit was imaginary. ***** Dear Sir I was walking through your Bracknell business park earlier this evening and the Waitrose minibus came driving past, really rather fast and straight through a large puddle, next to me. I was subsequently drenched through.  I suspect I may now have to send my suit to the dry cleaners. This is not the way I expect a supposedly upmarket brand to behave. RegardsJames Winfield ***** Thanks for contacting us … Continued

My Transexual Relative From Togo

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woman with body paint standing on grass field holding a ceramic bowl

Hi dear James, Please i seek your indulgence and tolerance to this indispensableproject, i’m Barrister Kenneth Odumodu, personal attorney to late MrD O James, who died intestate with his entire family here in Togo, ona car accident, which occurred along the Cara road. The reason of contacting you over this incident are due to you aresharing the same last name with my deceased client, therefore i’mcontacting you over the claim of his deposited funds, the sum of$16.500 000 00 United States Dollars, the bank management where thisfunds are deposited have demanded for the claimant being the heir. You can imagine … Continued

Complaint: Chick Chick Chicken

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white and red rooster

From last year… ****** Dear Sainsburys I’ve been busy this week, really busy.  See, I’mlooking for somewhere to live, I have to move in two weeks and I amspending a lot of time looking for somewhere to live.  It is a pain inthe backside. So you can understand that I need my life to go smoothly at the moment. Imaginemy disappointment when I started to make my chicken salad on Wednesdaymorning before work, and found the chicken looking rather dry and atouch discoloured – and realised that the best before date was 27thJuly. I have complained about this on a … Continued