Let Me Shop On Sundays Please

wooden blocks spelling sunday on neutral background

Occasionally, I want to go buy something from a shop later on a Sunday afternoon. Currently, I am not allowed to. Many shops close at 4pm.  Others at 5pm.  If you are lucky, or in central London (also lucky) then 6pm. Many of us across the country work Monday to Friday – many of the shops are closed when we are not at work on these 5 days, unless you happen to live in a vibrant metropolitan area or close to a major shopping centre. Weekends are two precious days filled with a variety of activities for many people – … Continued

Complaint: Sainsburys – Low Alcohol Wine Issues

a person pouring wine on a clear glass

Another complaint from 2014 that I thought I’d share: Dearest Sainsburys I would firstly like to apologise for the delay in sending you this complaint – you will probably notice that I am normally quite quick to complain however I have been spending a lot of time caressing my mullet recently. I received some trout on 23rd August and thought nothing more about it until 25th when it came to making trout and dill fishcakes – it had a best before date of 23rd August. I am not happy with this. Further to that, I purchased some rose wine last … Continued

Complaint: Tesco Scratchcard

From 2014: Dear Sir I went to your Tesco Express branch on Monday evening just gone to purchase two scratchcards. However when I got to the till, I was advised that they were already locked up for the evening. I could perhaps understand if it were 10:55pm however it was 8:30pm. The store was open for another 2 and a half hours. I appreciate the efforts of your store to refrain me from gambling, however these were gifts for my housemate and my sister for their birthdays. Thankfully President Mubarrak at the M&S garage across the road was very keen … Continued

Re-Re-Tox

It’s over! I woke up this morning and considered whether I should do a shot of absinthe or not.  In the end, I declined and had some milk and weetabix instead. 36 days have gone with no beer, cider, chorizo, vodka, wine, crack, ecstasy, quaaludes, LSD, cannabis, whiskey, brandy, gin, lager, ale, ketamine, barbiturates, cigarettes, bacon, sausages, MDMA, cocaine, GHB, speed, 2Ci and sex. Yes I have been ever so boring over the last month. It works.  I feel less tired, my body feels better, I have been having 7-8 hours of sleep EVERY single night, I have lost weight, … Continued

OI! Tories. Stick Together.

mad formal executive man yelling at camera

OK.  I think the Brexit lot are nutcases.  Some of them make quite lucid arguments but many are fanciful – seemingly expecting a large pot of gold just for leaving the world’s largest trading club.  Not to mention the magical sovereignty – wow.  Get in the English Channel. On the other side, the Brexiters amongst you probably think I am crazy for wanting to stay in a club with at least some democratic deficiency, possibly some corruption and some damn irritating rules that we have applied to our law book. Boris used to be one of my favourite politicians but … Continued

Complaint: JP Chenet

I thought I’d upload a couple of my old complaints that have been sitting in my Hotmail for absolutely no reason at all.  Maybe one of you will chuckle. This was from when I used to live in my crap flat, and when I started the complaint in June 2011, I had a miserable job with a witch of a manager and drunk a lot of wine.  JP Chenet wine, to be exact. It would often be a herculean effort to get the corkscrews out.  Here goes: Dear JP Chenet I love your wine, however, it is very difficult to … Continued

Lent 2016

mujer en hotel

Every year I give up something profound for Lent. I feel that it is important to show my humility and make a sacrifice on an annual basis. In previous years, I have given up such delights as paper clips, French swear words and zebra crossings. There was a year that I gave up semi-colons – which would have been a nightmare if I was learning how to code back then. And last year I gave up eyebrow grooming.  A quarter of my eyebrow hairs grow twice as long as the others – I had proper old politician bushes by Easter. … Continued

2016 Goals

Eagle House, Bracknell

Now birthday season is long out of the way, it is time to set myself some goals for the year ahead.  Or the next 11 months anyway. I’m never sure this is the most exciting post ever, but I like posting it so there. Lifestyle Lose Weight – My original plan was to get down to 87kg last year, then 83kg this year.  Given that I failed, I’m amending this to 85kg this year (I’m currently 91kg as of writing). 36 Day Detox – I’m upping it by 5 days this year (in effect an extra weekend, eeek!) and including … Continued

Forgotten My Pass

Time Travel in Huddersfield?

Hi   Please can you return the pass to reception as it is a daypass only.   Thanks Reception   ***       Hi Reception I agree with you that it is a day pass, however I have travelled back in timeby a week so I’m not due to return it for 6 days.   Kindregards. James ***     Security breach then…..   ***     Hi Reception   I have spent 15 minutes readinghuman resources guidelines and can find no reference to time travel being asecurity breach. That said, I understand your concerns, and as soon as … Continued

My Books Of 2015

books in black wooden book shelf

The Record Players – Bill Brewster This was often a fascinating read – a collection of in depth interviews with some of the most important characters that there has ever been in the history of dance music. I certainly felt a bit uncomfortable reading the first interview on the train – which was with Jimmy Savile.  Love him or not (possibly the latter), I have to say that he came across as a bit of an arrogant twat. Some of the early interviews were fascinating, such as with the late John Peel – others not so much – there were … Continued